Harry Potter, Again

So, I plowed through Harry Potter and the Crappy Title... er Deathly Hallows in about four hours Saturday morning. I didn't do the ludicrous all-nighter at a bookstore either; Target had a whole pile of the things available around 8:30 AM, when I showed up looking for kitty litter.

And? Well, it was pretty deeply satisying. After the one-two slap of Order of the Phoenix, with Raging Harry and Hermione the War Criminal, and Half-Blood Prince with the sucky teen romance and the inbred, sociopathic Gaunts, I really didn't know what to expect from Deathly Hallows. But Rowling tied up damn near every major plot thread in a way that worked, and resolved many of my lingering doubts about the series.

Spoilers below-- it's all pop culture legend now, like Star Wars. If you didn't read it already, oh well.

Ten Best Things About Harry Potter 7:

Honorable Mention: The goblins. That shoe was going to drop one of these days, and it should've dropped harder than that.

10. Hermione, Harry, and Ron functioning as a real, mature, fantastic team. Even Ron's Betrayal Redux was handled well, as was his return.

9. Kreacher and Regulus' Bogus Journey-- poor, poor little Reggie. Hermione wasn't the only one bawling as I read that scene. And what really happened made so much more sense than the fan-theories.

8. Peter/Wormtail's ignominious end. No showdown with Lupin! Nope, just an undignified and disgusting death. Though, as one of Voldemort's most effective servants, maybe he did deserve better. But the crappy deaths of Wormtail and Lupin, like the crappy death of Sirius, is one in the eye to "Marauder"-obsessed fans who put way too much symbolic emphasis on the elder generation. They weren't the core of the story, and they never were.

7. Drop dead Fred. I shouted for joy when Fred Weasley bit it, not because I hated him (rather liked him, really), but because Rowling had the guts to go for the most satisfying and painful Weasley death imaginable. When George lost an ear, I cringed, thinking the redheads were safe (what with Arthur's brush with death in V, Bill's mauling in VI, and Ron's many escapes with the Reaper). But no, Rowling went for the jugular and cleaved the twins asunder-- leaving George, the more sensitive of the pair, to suffer for the rest of his life. Offscreen, mind you-- the horror is all in what the reader imagines will lay in store for the family. Bravo to Rowling for doing what I'd been wanting her to do since Book V.

6. The Ravenclaws. This, not Book V, was really the Ravenclaw book, what with Luna and her father, the tale of the Grey Lady, and an actual visit to the fabled common room. If only we'd learned old Albus had himself been a Ravenclaw (it certainly fits him best, IMO). Points off for more Slytherin hate, though-- come on, they can't all be bad. Really!

5. Neville's Gran, on the lam. Granny Longbottom making a break for it. And Neville, sweet Neville. I didn't even like him as a character until I saw the Goblet of Fire film, but I have come 'round to Neville. Pity he doesn't marry Luna. Maybe Dean Thomas marries Luna-- I always did like Dean, and he had his turn in the sun as well.

4. The Dark Side of Albus Dumbledore. Dude, that was had elements of the best fan theories, but was put together better than any of them. Manipulative!Dumbledore all the way. I never believed for a second Rowling would actually go there, but she did and I loved it. Nice to finally hear from old Aberforth, too. rOxOr!!!

3. Snape. He was a bastard, but he was Dumbledore's bastard. It was the best explanation-- not "on the side of Light" from day one, not a born murderer. And while I'd lately subscribed to the hypothesis that his change of heart came when the DE's killed his mum (no evidence for that turned up in canon), the Snape-luvs-Lily thing was handled in a way that I could stomach it. OK, it was kind of creepy-- dude, he *was* creepy. And his death scene, while apparently aimed just to piss off the fans who wanted an actively heroic end for their fave character, was brilliant, really. He was the perfect spy, and had the death of a perfect spy-- his "master" never had a clue Snape wasn't loyal. Unsung, dirty, unglamourous heroism, that-- do your job to the letter, and get iced for it. And no one loves you until after you're dead, because it's easier to get saccharine about a dead jerk than to maintain a relationship with a living one. Though the memories leaking out of his eyes was a sick image-- how come we've never seen that before? Does that happen when people get Crucio'd into death or insanity?

2. I was afraid the "deathly hallows" would be very irritating last-second McGuffins. Instead, that part was beautifully handled-- unreliable sources, the use of items we'd seen in previous books but didn't fully understand, a perfect explanation of the "Peverell coat of arms"- well done, Jo.

1. Lee Jordan, host of Potterwatch on pirate radio. I cheered at this-- what a perfect, in-character, subversive return for one of my favorite side characters. Rock on, Lee.

Worst Things About Harry Potter 7:

10. I wanted the "godfather" thing to be better developed. I realize poor little Teddy had a grandmother to raise him, but...

9. Molly killing Bellatrix was not satisfying. Harry's warning sign that Bellatrix was going to be toast was cool, but dammit, I wanted Neville holding the fatal wand. Molly killing... no, I didn't buy it. Even tigress-mother syndrome did not make me believe it. Molly shouting obscenities was not believable, either. I skipped over that bit.

8. Harry ended up with Ginny. Sigh. Inevitable, but I didn't like it and still don't. And that epilogue-- the Malfoy stuff was adorable, but I just had the nagging feeling I'd read that insipid family scene before. Many times. It really did read like fanfiction. And the kids' names suck.

7. Remus and Tonks are so obviously the ones that she changed her mind about killing off. And I bet Hagrid was the one she gave a reprieve to. Not a fair trade, man. And while I was kinda glad that Lupin did not go out facing Wormtail or Greyback (fan theories made me sick of those scenarios), his offscreen death was... eh. I actually missed that he was dead the first time, and did a doubletake and had to read the passage again. Double for Tonks-- she was an Auror, dammit! Couldn't we at least see her doing her damn job before she died?

6. Exposition. Exposition. Exposition. We will now interrupt Armageddon to bring you Snape's entire backstory. Twice.

5. What's up with everyone casting Unforgivables all over the place? Aren't they... unforgivable?

4. Remus is hanging with his bros James and Sirus in the afterlife. Sucks to be Tonks. This is why depictions of the afterlife are invariably unsatisfying.

3. Wait-- the werewolf caper was *before* the Snape's-pants incident? Really? That... makes no sense. I must have been tainted by fandom.

2. I still learned jack-all about Lily Potter. She was adorable as a kid, but what sort of woman was she other than pretty? I wanted to find out more about her talents at Potions and Charms. And weren't we supposed to find out what she and James did for a living, at least before they went into hiding? Also, that letter of hers in at Grimmauld Place-- that was totally like a scene from the third book in the Anne of Green Gables series-- "Roses of Yesterday."

1. I thought we were going to see a villain with a convincing motivation. Grindelwald was ten times more interesting than Tom Riddle. Man, I want a story about Dumbledore and Grindelwald's Not-So-Excellent Adventures now. The moral compass of the story is so screwed up... so screwed up. But I don't read it for the moral lessons, I read it 'cause it's cute and funny and occasionally gripping or tragic.

The fifth film wasn't any great shakes, though. Goblet of Fire was a much, much better film. Oh well-- better luck next time.